It’s the middle of May and I just finished doing my taxes. As procrastinators say, “Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow.” Now to be fair (at least that’s my excuse) I knew I was going to have to shell out big time to Uncle Sam. 2020 was an eventful year on so many levels (and taxable events) selling a house, retiring, buying a house, etc, etc, etc. But at the end of the day (a terrible writing cliché) I can’t complain … well actually I can and do.
So Mimsy and I went for a walk. She had clear objectives (biological functions), I just wanted to put things into perspective. It was a good walk, the sun was low in the west and back lit the new springtime growth of trees, shrubs, and yes poison ivy, I was slapping mosquitoes, but the were birds were singing, all in all it was a great springtime stroll.
I thought of taxes, mosquitoes and poison ivy (which I can just look at and break out) and then I thought of trust. Trust is one of those lessons that I have to keep learning over and over again. I like to think I’m a pretty positive person, but there are times when doubts and fears come rolling in and I borrow troubles in the middle of the night that will never appear in the light of day.
Intellectually and theologically I think I have a decent grasp on my relationship with God as a Christian. I understand that I am promised His unending love and salvation by His sacrifice on the cross. I also understand as a Christian, I am not promised a life of ease, pink Cadillacs, freedom from mosquitoes, poison ivy, or taxes (and if you are listening to a prosperity preacher who promises you those things, it’s time to switch channels [editorial comment].
Since it’s a walk both philosophical and biological, I don’t mind asking Mimsy, “So why do I struggle trusting God?” She looks up at me, chuffs, hikes her leg, then turns toward home. I follow her lead.
You get to certain point when you can’t kid yourself. I know I will have periods of doubt, questions that I can’t answer, but I plan on keeping on walking toward home.
(Though I really want to ask God, poison ivy, seriously?)